Ad interim
by I'm the map
Summary: C'mon, say it. Tell me that you love me…


"We lost."

"That doesn't matter, Touko."

"But when you're with Kudari, you two are always so… in sync." Touko sighs, leans her head up close against his shoulder. Her finger, hooked under the edge of her wristband, rolls back and forth beneath the fabric. "I just get the feeling I'm not on your level, that's all."

"Kudari was with me before we were even born. How couldn't we know each other's strategies inside out? In fact–" Nobori chuckles – "we've fought multi battles for longer than you've been alive."

Touko's hand reaches out. The fabric of his shirt tenses in her fist, along with his heartstrings. She's at an age where a battle still means the world, a loss still worth crying over. He wraps his arm around her, palm lifting and landing in slow, rhythmic pats. Outside the window, fluorescent lights and signs flash by, interrupting the darkness. How many late-night passengers still linger about, at this hour?

"Nobori…"

"Yes?"

"Earlier, it was like… I didn't know you anymore or something. Like I saw this part of you… that I had no idea was there." She clutches onto his arm, squeezing. "It scared me."

"Is that so? I apologize." Nobori runs his hand through the mess of hair at the back of her head, feeling for knots and tangles. He breathes in, and smells the world outside.

"Sometimes, I wonder… If I even know you at all."

The train gives a sudden jostle, and he pulls her close reflexively. "I don't know all there is about you either, Touko. Still, that doesn't mean I don't care."

"But you're my boyfriend!"

He flinches. No matter how many times he hears that word coming from her, it unsettles him. He smiles weakly. "Come on, Touko. I'm too old to be your boyfriend."

"Nu-unh. I like you, and you like me. Therefore, you're my boyfriend."

A pair of hands fall upon him. Fingers crawl along the corner of his lips, prying open his jaw. Nails scrape against teeth, skin salty-sweet against his tongue. Touko giggles, before leaning in to plant a good-natured peck upon his cheek.

"See? You're my boyfriend."

Glancing across the otherwise empty cart, Nobori almost expects a passenger or coworker to materialize. It takes him a moment to wipe his mouth, another still to recollect his thoughts. "Just because I'm your… boyfriend, that doesn't mean you know everything about me." He closes his eyes, breath escaping in a sigh. "I was with my ex-fiancée for seven years. Even so, I don't believe we understood each other entirely."

"I'm sorry!" Touko's arms interlace around his waist, latching on tight. "I hate it! How people leave each other…"

"It's just part of being human."

Without a word, she presses her cheek against his neck. He gives her a little tap across the shoulder. Meanwhile, the train is accelerating. They're leaving Mistralton behind, carried steadily in the direction of Icirrus.

"By the way, Touko," he adds, "I always enjoy having you as a partner for multi-battles. Today's match was no exception. You did well."

"Do you think–" Touko looks up, impaling him with blue – "that we'll ever understand each other?"

"Well… with time, anything is possible, and–"

"But I never even get to see you!"

"I have work, Touko. You know that." The week's fatigue descends abruptly upon him. Nobori thinks of the force of her body launching into his, of the slow and lingering goodbyes. Something catches at the back of his throat.

"Besides," he adds, "if you spent all your time down here, wouldn't your friends and family miss you? I'm not the only one in your life."

"Are too!" Her arms travel from the small of his back upward, securing him close. "I love you," she murmurs.

"I'm very fond of you also."

"But you don't love me!"

"That's not true." His palm finds the curve of a shoulder blade, the dip of the spine.

"You've never said it! Not even once!"

"Is that so? I'm sorry."

"Well, say it now." Touko lets go, wriggling out of the embrace. Leaning forward, eyes batting, she gives off an air of grave seriousness. He can't help but smile at the sight. "I'll go first. Nobori, I love you…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're my favorite person in the world."

"But, Touko, the world's a big place. And there are so many people you haven't met–" Nobori winces as a finger pokes into his stomach.

"You aren't saying it!"

"If you'd like to know whether you're important to me, then, yes. You are very dear to me."

"More than all your exes? More than your brother?"

"I can't make that comparison."

"I knew it. You don't really love me."

"That's not it, Touko."

Without a sound, she cries. Hot tears soak into the fabric of his shirt.

"Both Kudari and my ex-fiancée are important to me, in different ways. There's no need to compare."

No reply, as his shoulder continues to dampen.

"Besides, if you keep telling me that I'm the only person who's important to you, the day you change your mind… How would that make me feel?"

He reaches for her hand. It's small and warm, a little rough at the palm from old bike handle blisters and other misadventures. In contrast, his own are pale and cold. Nobori gives in, runs his thumb across that palm. Gentle circles become caresses. Her fingers close in so that they touch more of him.

"May I give you some advice for multi battles?"

She nods, wiping more tears into his shoulder.

"You tried too hard to cover me. As a result, your team suffered unnecessary damage. A multi battle is no different, in that you must always move ahead."

She replies by snuggling closer, brown curls spilling across his neck and arm.

"Remember your goal, Touko. If victory is what you want, then set your mind to it. Don't let anyone hold you back." He pauses, returning her squeeze. "We can keep practicing, if you'd like. Until we get better as a team. Would you like that?"

"Yeah." She nods, nuzzling his side in the process. It makes him a little dizzy. After Icirrus, Opelucid…

"Say, Nobori…" Shifting around on her end of the seat, she settles a knee against his thigh. "Why'd you leave each other? Your fiancée, I mean."

"That's a difficult question." He glances up at the panels of light, piecing back the memories. "Time passes, and things change. You make a painful decision, because you have to."

Touko's fingers find the hair at the base of his neck, running along, deciphering the texture. "Don't leave me," she whimpers.

"I won't." She gives him another squeeze, and it makes his head reel. "Besides, you know where to find me. As long as you come to the subway, I'll be here, waiting."

"After working hours."

"Saturday evenings are best."

"Unless you're doing overtime."

They laugh.

His leg is going numb against her weight, but it's not uncomfortable. If she so chose, this warmth could leave him in an instant. So he takes note of it, jots it down on the clipboard of his memory.

"Let's do lots more multi battles!"

"Of course."

"We'll get so good, no one can beat us. We'll be the best in the world, just you and me."

"If you so say." Hadn't he once made a similar promise to Kudari, as a child? All so long ago, in a distant time…

Touko kneels up, steadying her hand on his hip. Their eyes meet, her gaze indecipherable.

"Love you." Words carried on a warm breath, close against his ear.

"There will be others," he tells her softly. "Someone better. Someone your age–"

"No! Never!" Little arms wrap tightly around his neck. They pull him in protectively, surprisingly strong. Is it her heartbeat tapping against his chest, or his own? His hands fall weakly to his side.

"One day, you'll change your mind." Nobori's first impression of her replays: just some other naïve trainer, red-and-white ball raised in a trembling fist, nearly losing balance as the train veered. How she's grown, since!

He doesn't tell her about the looks that people give, the rumors circulating in the workplace, the knot in his heart each time Kudari passes a concerned remark. How oblivious she can be, leaping into his arms amid the sea of rush-hour passengers! He has a schedule to follow, entire lines to operate. Meanwhile, the world out there is still hers to discover. Can't she see that?

"No… I'll love you forever," she whispers fondly, eyelashes tickling his cheek. "Promise."

"Don't promise me anything, Touko. Do what makes you happy. Never let anyone hold you back."

She nods solemnly. "Same goes for you."

"All right." Nobori smiles at his own lie. The bright signs flickering by reflect gently in her eyes. How unaware she is, of her own fragility! Beyond the Battle Subway, an entire future awaits her, new loves and losses to experience. Forever tied to these rails, he'll one day watch her ascend, back into the light…

"Nobori?"

He blinks. "Yes?"

"Can we make love, again?"

He laughs, incredulous. Inside, his heart races, a train veering dangerously off its tracks. "Would that make you happy?"

"Yeah."

With Lacunosa quickly falling behind, they would soon find Undella deserted. White Forest, likewise…

"Wouldn't your parents be worried for you? If they knew?"

"I don't care what they think."

"If I were in their place, I'd be. You're a lovely young woman, with so much ahead of you, and–"

"Stop it. Please."

A cheek presses against his neck. Soon, it becomes a mouth, clambering and claiming. Her hands are everywhere now, from his stomach to his spine. Wherever she touches, a fire catches. Does she even know to what extent she affects him? Perhaps she does. He wonders if he'll ever tell.

Her fingers find the buttons on his shirt. Starting from the collar, they travel down, unfastening one after the other. Across his lap, her thighs give way, just a little… It's all happening too fast. Nobori reaches, and with one hand, captures both of hers. Their fingers interlock. Hers so innocent, his so unworthy.

He lifts the other hand and winds it through her hair, up to the base of the skull. Something unfathomably beautiful resides there, beneath that housing of bone. Some poignant emotion stabs into the cavity of his chest. It seizes him, paralyses him, has him at a loss for words.

Touko sighs, leans into the touch, basks in it. And then, she lets go. Their eyes meet, and time stops somewhere along the path of their gaze.

"I love you."

"I like you too," he replies with all his heart.


End file.
